Needing some quiet conversation

{{SIGH}} The house is quiet for the first time all day and I am in need of some blogging :) Sometimes it is very therapeutic for me...anyone else feel that way? I know my blog doesn't draw a swarm of readers by any means, but that's not why I do it. I have really enjoyed some other's blogs lately that I know get hundreds, probably even thousands, of followers on them. It is pretty amazing how far it reaches and to know that in a 'common setting', like the particular blog and interest, that you have friends from all over the world you can share that with. But anyway...

Our homeschool setup has evolved once again. We moved the table into the boy's room and have tried to set up a little 'spot' for it in their closet. Soon I will have their big boy bed's built and will have all their clothes stored in the dressers, but for now it looks a little something like the above. My cubbies have given me some great storage for extra supplies and stuff that I want to keep out of their reach until we need it. See how much my folks hooked us up with all the paints and papers and markers...AWESOME!!!

The actual 'homeschooling' has sort of taken a step back right now. We knew this time of year would be the most difficult to do a steady routine because of work being so much busier and just unpredictable. I'm trying not to feel guilty about this and trying to just remind myself that we will do a lot more school in the summer months than most families do. I've also decided that we will plan to do Kindergarten with Joss next summer or fall for sure, and not this coming one. I need the extra time to get ready for it, and I think he will be more ready for it by then.

I have some really hard moments at times wondering if I'm doing the right thing by homeschooling. I really have to surround myself with encouragement from the homeschooling moms I know and the blogs I follow when my doubts and fears start getting a hold of me. For example, today I had to drop some stuff off at the elementary school that our neighbors go to. While we were there, Joss saw Mason playing with his classmates and Joss had this look on his face that he wanted to be over there with them sooo badly. Of course I asked him if he thought he would like to go to school like Mason does and this time he answered with a big "YES, I could do that!" He has answered before that he likes doing school with me at home, but it all depends on the day and the moment that gives me the answer.

I think it will always be something that I ask myself, "Am I doing the right thing here?" But I also have to keep reminding myself WHY I want to homeschool and what my ultimate reason is for it. Once we really get going with it, I can't imagine them being too disappointed with the flexibility it will give them, but for now it is an insecurity I have.

The boys officially call Dallas "Dada"! I just love it because I used to call my dad that. I really am not sure where they picked it up, I believe it is just their very own term of endearment for him :) For me it goes back and forth with "Momma" and "Mommeeeeeeeee", depending on what they need. One day, just one, I would love to count how many times I hear, "Momma....? Momma.....! Momma....?!" Usually it takes me saying, "Yes, sweetie?" at least 5 times before they stop with the "Momma...?" and actually get out their question. See why my brain is a bit frazzled right now? :)

We are in a very frustrating stage with 'Winning & Losing' right now with Joss. Every single thing becomes a competition. "I got out of the tub first, I win... you lose!" "I got my juice first..ha ha, I win,  you lose!" It really drives me nuts. It's not so much the competition that bothers me, because heaven knows Bev and I were competitive growing up, but the hard part for me is that Joss is learning to win AND lose, but he never accepts the LOSE part of it. For example, he loves to play hide and seek, but he's learned from the bigger kids he's been playing with that when you get caught and get to be the one to seek that you LOSE and you cry about it and say "No fair" and quit playing the game. Sounds like good sports huh?? Drives me insane when I see this kind of behavior from older kids that should know better. And it bugs me because I see my little and influential son picking right up on it. I try my best to gently explain to him that we have to learn how to do both and that sometimes we win and sometimes we lose and.......you know 'the life lesson'.

Lately, I've tried to make a point for Emit to win and Joss to lose, not in an ugly or rude way, but just to try to show Joss that it's not fun to always lose and he won't always be first. Emit doesn't really help my case at times though because he'll proudly run around announcing, "I LOSE! I LOSE!" like it really is a prize :) Bless their hearts and mine... each and everyday is a learning process.

Since my last post, Dallas and I have both had birthdays. Unfortunately, as adults the birthdays seem to fall on a work day or just another busy day. We tried to make each other feel special, and I think we succeeded! The boys had fun making us feel special. This photo above makes me laugh on a random note though. You'll notice that everyone is finished eating and ready for dessert besides Mommy...I am always the last one eating, but this probably is because I am the last one to start and usually the one getting dropped spoons, empty cups filled, napkins, etc....makes me tired just typing it :) BUT I am very pleased with how much we've been sitting at the table eating as a family. It is a very nice part of the day and makes for some sweet moments as a family.

Helping Dada blow out his candles!

Our homemade balance beam and fun for a morning!

Steady now...

"Give me your hand!"

"I holdin' tight momma!"

Our trains are still around and kicking. These guys have run out of batteries at the moment, so we are enjoying a nice and quiet break from these two trains (no worries Bev, they still LOVE them!).

This particular day we took them all over our little 'block' to play on the hills, the speed bumps, the kayaks, etc.

We even pretended like the speed bump was a boat and we sang "Row Your Boat"! The boys got to laughing so hard and were being good little sports.

You would think these trains moved at the speed of light the way they watch them and get so excited to see them chuffing along :)

DIY ramps for the trains to get on the speed bumps :)

Yesterday when we were on FaceTime with my mom, Joss was getting all wound up and wrestling with me. He kept getting rougher and rougher like he usually does. I told him (in a joking, but serious way), "If you don't stop hitting me so hard, I'm gonna pop you." His immediate response (he didn't skip a beat) was, "I don't have any air, you can't pop me!" I collapsed in laughter at that and just grabbed him and squeezed him into submission :) It was too funny!

On a different note...earlier this week we were out playing with the neighbors and long story short, Hagen bit Joss.. again. He's been bad at biting for a while now. This isn't the first time he's drawn blood either, but this time it really made me mad. Ann Ligon, if you're reading this, I'm sorry, but I have to air this out. I really hate it when it happens because Joss just stands their in shock not really understanding what he did or what is going on and meanwhile Hagen is just biting down harder and harder. I took off running and trying to get over in time but it was too late. We all went inside after that because it was already late. Well, we were in the tub and Joss was still pretty upset and crying. I calmed him down and told him if Hagen bit him again that I wanted to hit him back as hard as he could. Now, I have not wanted to teach my kids to fight back because I don't want them thinking it is okay to just run around hitting people. And I tried making that point as well and told Joss he couldn't just run up to Hagen and hit him, and that it was only okay if he was biting him.

The next time we were out playing with them I wanted to be up front and let Hagen and Ann Ligon know the terms I gave Joss. I didn't want to do it secretly and sneaky and I'm hoping that being upfront with them will prevent a biting and therefore prevent Joss hitting too. Well, I don't think they went over so well because a few minutes later they were all back inside and we haven't played with them in about 3 days. I saw Ann Ligon earlier today and told her that I was sorry if I upset her, and I don't think I have all the answers, but that I have to do what I feel is right for my kid. It hasn't been a good week for this to happen because Dallas isn't here for me to bounce this off on. I've talked to him a bit, but it just stinks because I haven't had my friend all week either. I hate having to deal with this kind of stuff, but I believe it comes with the mommy territory. And some of you may think I dealt with this poorly, but it was the best thing I could come up with.

Emit has this fun little routine. I think he just gets the need to run every now and then. He just stops whatever he's doing and says something like, "Momma, watch me GO now!" and just takes off. Either across the yard, driveway or beach, or by running laps around our kitchen island. He's a fast little booger, but it cracks me up. He even does it when he's 'gotta go' and needs to get to the potty quickly.

Yep, they are 'wearing' my earrings :) And don't you just love Joss' enthusiastic smile below. Here's another little Joss-ism for now... Anytime he gets a cut or a scrap or a bump or a bruise, we call it an 'owee'. So anytime it is bleeding, well of course it becomes "bleeding owee". It is so funny sounding when he runs around saying things like, "Dada, look at my bleeding owee!" It comes out completely British and cracks us up every time!

On my birthday the boys and daddy came in and woke me up with big hugs and kisses! What a great way to start my day. Joss was all excited to give me my 'birthday bag' which was a new tool bag with some goodies inside :) He kept saying things like, "What's in your birthday bag momma? Do you like your birthday bag momma?" And then I came out of my room to find this.....

Aren't they sweet :) 

So this past week has been trip prep for a kayak trip that Dallas is out on now. LOTS of homemade goodies went out on this trip. We're still trying to tweak our kayak menu since we don't have any refrigeration and still want to have good meals out there. I found some great recipes online for homemade Oatmeal Creme Pies, Energy Bites (kind of like granola balls), Smore Bites, and then some yummy favorites like Lemon Bars, Banana Nut Bread, Apple Streusel Bread, Chocolate Macaroon, No Bake Oatmeal Cookies (thanks MOM!) and a few other baked goods. They were fully stocked and we were worn out at the end of the prep  week...can't you see Dallas' enthusiasm for late night packing and prep below :) 

But you can also see his cute haircut too :) It's not 'fixed' here but it is the first time I've given him a haircut that wasn't a buzz cut that I'm actually half way proud of! He was so cute afterwards too and very proud of his new-do! I gave Emit a little trim too, and hope to try something a little new with Joss' soon. 

In my last post I mentioned the truck seats that I recovered to salvage and a couple of you mentioned that you wanted to see the pictures... well, here goes :) 

And Yes, there is duck tape on the steering wheel, no handles to open the doors on the inside, the arm rests are falling off, the levers on the seats are broken, etc, but I told you...it is a work truck, and right now... it is all we can afford and gets us from point A to point B. We are trying to flood this thing with prayers to keep it running smooth. If you want to help us with those prayers, we wouldn't say no :)

I snapped this photo above really quickly yesterday. This is how my tub looks every single day (at least once a day if not more), and this is before the water comes on to really get the dirt flowing. If it isn't sand, it is dusty, muddy, dirt... oh if only we could have GRASS in this yard.

The boys were being really sweet and laughing and playing together while playing the iPad earlier today....had to get a quick shot :)

Last, but not least, for this post is a sample of our praise and worship right now with our church group. I've sort of taken on the role to compose the praise sets for Sundays right now, and this is one I put together for last week. I love this song right now, and love seeing it to these pictures we've taken of our pretty islands :) Hopefully it lifts you up!